


When first I met you

by JustAMod



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Other, really don't know how to tag, the story teller kinda dies but like comes back so is it really death or just an inconvienance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:27:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAMod/pseuds/JustAMod
Summary: a story about an individual named Tizith and their life times of knowing Revali the Champion of the Rito.
Relationships: Revali (Legend of Zelda)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. The First

When I met you the first time, you were hardly yourself and I was myself true.

It was in the mountains, the trees dressed in green needles and white dusted layers of snow and ice. the sky an over cast of greys and blues with the threat of the winter blizzards on the winds whispers. 

a thought and concept, an emotion given form, I was ghosting across the powdery ground without leaving a trace of my existence. a passing breeze that would tickle the flesh and feathers of those who came across my path, I found myself wandering aimlessly. there were many like me at one time, and now there were so few. were they slumbering? hidden? had they disappeared, or taken mortal form? had they coiled themselves into the forms of weapons, tools? or landmarks of trees that encased the sky in their branches.

I truly did not pay it any mind, their company was naught something I sought. No company nor comfort, just purpose. directionless and lost, I hardly paid mind to the trees round me, nor the monsters that hid in their shadows. such strange creations were monsters, and often i ignored their grunts and grumbles. they were not if import to me as well.

No, nothing was until I saw you. but you weren’t you, not yet any way. It was the brief tug that caught me mid drift, ceasing my wandering for the first time in decades. my path had altered, though I had no idea at the time why. what was this strange sensation that felt as if a line had been pulled through me. what was this feeling of pulling, of calling that made me turn my head east ward. was my purpose in this direction? was my life’s work to be uncovered to me, at last?

in my eternity, I had aided some and few in between. very few could so deeply feel what I was for me to be called upon, drawn upon, in truth and earnest form. mortal feelings were fleeting and changed with the seasons and tides, leaving me aching when my purpose was abandoned by those who had called to me.

Devotion.

It was not something used often, nor stuck to. Passion fleeting, motivation waning like the moons, too many times would I found a project lost. a faith broken. a heart disenchanted with the beauty of what once had sparked such love within them. too many times had I seen their disillusionment cloud their eyes and leave them duller than when they had been. even the memories alone caused my being to ache with pain.

but for now, even if I expected another disappointment, i was being called upon. the thread pulled me along, towards what I could only assume was a mountaineer seeking to claim that which can never truly be theirs in any form but the spoken word. perhaps a hunter was chasing some prey too legendary for name? 

around the tree bend, breaking the forest line, is where I saw you. small, and still within her, you were a tiny spark of life.

I could not see them, your parents. i was aware of them, true....but you? compared to you would be to see the stars when the sun rises before you. and so small!! how could one shine so brightly whilst still carried in the womb? How could you be so glorious before even taking your first breath?

Comprehension left me but instinct as i flew forward, the snow bellowed out behind me as I put force into my form. amazement buzzed through every part of my being, calling forth the splendor and glory of lavender and green wreathed flames. In truth, had I been able to keep my wits about me, perhaps I would not have terrified your parents as badly as I had. perhaps, if I had paused, waited and watched, I would have realized the defensive stance of your father, and the exhausted, weak look of your mother. perhaps, but I did not.

when the arrow hit me, I was confused. a dull thunk, and it’s head had buried itself in what you would consider a chest. hollow and with nothing within to be damaged, i remember the look of it sticking out of me. the finely crafted wooden shaft, the colorful plumage at the end, and the hissing of the fire within me as it soon found itself smothered and extinguished. baffled, curious, I am sad to say I was distracted long enough to pull it from myself to inspect this strange enchanted arrow. normal weapons cannot hurt me as I was, and yet this one burning with fire had, at the very least, touched me.

when i finally returned my gaze back to where they had been, to find you, to find them... they had fled. out of the forest of the mountains, with a trail of red being left in their passing.

I had lost you for the first time, and I ached for it. the world now around me felt darker, duller, without you there. my sun, where had you gone to? 

but their blood, and the thrumming call in my being... I would not lose you for long. the arrow clutched tightly to my person, I flew for a very long time after them. Rushing was needed, but the powdery snow was hardly set. if I flew too fast, I could ruin their crimson bread trail leading me to you!

and so I flew with haste, but never enough to alter the world around me. a ghost once more, i tracked them for hours, each passing second feeling more like a year to me than all of this time I had been. an eternity and a half passed by before I finally found where they had gone.

a mountain in he center of a lake, surrounded by others much like them. their plumage was foreign to me in such a shape other than what I had seen in the skies and trees. birds, but longer and walking on two legs. they donned armors and clothes, and carried weapons of bent wood and string. the arrow i held seemed to remind me just what they were capable of, should I act recklessly once again.

that night, beneath constellations watchful gazes and the moon’s leisurely passing through the sky, I waited on the outskirts of the village. I watched, patiently, for all of them to find roost for the night. it took so long, and still there were those who walked the wooden paths and road the winds around. guards, no doubt. many mortal dwellings were fond of such things.

but mattering little to me, I began my ascent to where I knew that you were. she was resting, your mother. what had happened to her... I did not know, nor care beyond your own well being. she was being tended to, and it was enough for me as I came to float by their hut and home. the fire was glowing brightly, illuminating the shine of their feathers, the green of his eyes, the blue of her feathers.

stars, yes. and outshined by your light. you were healthy and well, safe and warm, unaware of the world around you. transfixed, i lingered on the edge of your home, their home. such peace and restlessness sung ballads through my form as i tried to compose myself. how badly did I want to reach out and claim this source of such emotion, i could drink my fill of this delicious feeling that had over come me. such unwavering devotion was wrapped around you, WAS you, that I could hardly keep myself together with the excitement I had of your birth, your life. Oh how i wanted to MEEt you-!

...but how could i do that.

the thought did not occur to me that night, nor not until many after that. every night would repeat the same. under the light of a full moon, or in the darkness of a new, I was there. lingering on the edge of their home, I was with her every day. weeks went by, I think. time had little meaning beyond the encroaching day when you would breathe your first breath.

...but how would I meet you?

it was on the night of a crescent moon when that thought finally came to me. hovering above your home, I could see your light from the swing she slept in, rocking slowly by the talons of he. they could not see me as I was, not unless I put force and focus into it. and even then, they would chase me from you, wouldn’t the? yes, these mortals these...ritos...they would chase me from their home should they see or sense me.

few times had an arrow sunk into the wood where I was, their elders or more sensitive hunters able to sense my presence creeping. so excited would I get, that I would lose the focus of keeping myself concealed. their arrows worried me none, as they did not tend to bring their elementally infused ones out near their home, and so I ignored them for the most part while hiding myself once more to spare myself the trouble. 

But through these slip ups, i realized that interaction with you would be difficult. how could i know you if they would drive me away? would you fear me when you were your own bird? would you run at the sight of me? the thought of that rejection was enough to nearly throw me from the sky, as devastating of a concept as it was. No, I HAD to know you. some how, some way, in whatever way would work best.

I pondered, I ached, I tormented myself with the ins and outs and hows and whys, until I had only one thought left on this matter.

I would need to take a mortal form.

Something that had never truly held any sway nor interest now had become my single hope in being able to meet you on even footing. yes, a mortal body! something that would be able to talk with you without fear of scaring you away! true, I would be subjected to the life of it’s body... but what was the span of 90 years of being able to know _you_?

it was a commitment I was willing-no, READY to make. never had I been more certain than that new moon night. you were brillant and blinding, glowing so splendoursly ... you would arrive soon, and I was excited for that day. the day I could reach out and finally touch the light that you were was approaching, and so badly did I want the chance to greet you into this world.

everything went side ways when he did not return. it had been a day and a half, and your father did not return. she waited, tired and weak and worrying. a hunter, he should have been back swiftly to feed and care for her. he should have returned with the setting sun...but didn’t.

I worried for her, for _you_. where had he gone? why had he not come back? where was the life sustaining food he was to provide for your mother and you? I could not sit idley by, and did not. no sooner had the support your people came for her, bringing extra meals and company, that I was flying fast over the winds and through the trees. gliding like a bat in the night, I scoured the hebra mountains for your father. monsters and beasts were blown from my past in the wake of my intensity, their startled cries i ignored. several horses were sent fleeing from my path, but still no sign. why was he not in the typical hunting grounds? where had he gone!?

had the fool wandered further out? in the hopes of finding bigger game? had he been killed and devoured by a monster? had he been felled from the sky and lay broken, bleeding and battered some where? the worries of his fate wracked through me, and the snow around me was pushed away by the gusts of my fires and winds.

a spirit possessed, I dove into the mountains and streams and waters and trees. i listened to the whispering koroks that dwelled in hiding places deep, and the skittish bunnis that chittered and skittered from the ancient paths. 

an attack had happened.

a roaming pack of Kargarocs had flown by the mountains

a solo rito had been swarmed.

a solo rito had fallen.

despair washed over me as I flew through the dirt and stone, out into the sky of an over casted night in the desperate hope of finding him. you needed a provider! you needed a father to hunt and care for you!! how would you grow strong and well without the food nor protection to teach you, to nurture you! 

long into the night did i search, until even a spirit such as myself grew weary. the grief of loss hung around my neck in the wake of this despair. that was, however, until I heard the whistling sound of an arrow flying past me. odd it sounded, i remember how fast I spun to catch it. how fast I flew to trace where it had come from. how fast I was at his side.

in a cave under the ice, he was lain and lame. his wings were battered, and he was cold. how he had managed to shoot at me I could not, still can not wrap my mind around. was it because he was close to death that he could sense me? laying there, sure of his final breaths, was he able to see my form clearly for the first time in moons now?

I saw his gaze follow my form, unsure of me as unsure as I was of him. without care, he would never survive the wounds he had done his best to tend. determination had seen him through cauterization, and feathers burned would never regrow from those gashes I saw. he was a downed bird. and even I knew at that time that was a death sentence.

 _‘I know you are there, spirt’_ his voice was raspy and weak, but still rumbled with a pride I have heard in your tone, too. _‘you have been with us for a long time now, haven’t you. watching over us, watching over me’_

i could have rolled my eyes at that, but did not. if it were not for his role in your life, I would have never left your side to find him.

_‘please’_

that was new

 _‘please bring these supplies to my wife’_ with his broken wings, he gestured to the meat at his side. the mad man had not touched the game he had managed to salvage from the attacks of the monsters! had truly given up on the idea of his own survival past a point? was he so devoted to your mother and you that he would risk himself this way??

with the sound of his protesting stomach, and teh weakness of his frame...I had my answer without a doubt.

 _‘please’_ he said the word again, and it rolled so sweetly inside of my head that I was momentarily stunned by the feelings behind it. ‘ _she and my chick will need them... I beg you..’_

so helplessly devoted.. earnest and true. he would give up his life for you, for her.

how could i refute him? how could i let him die?

 **‘No’** i said clearly and calmly, shocking the half dead rito. i remember how his feathers had fluffed, never having heard my ringing voice before. never truly knowing, with certainty, that I was there. I remember how clearly his eyes became, alight with curiosity and fear, alert now to the silhouette of my form before him **'You are not to die here, I will not allow this.'**

his chuckle was so much like yours as he leaned back against the fridged wall of his own believed grave, staring at me evenly with disbelief 'I don't see how that will be possible. I won't make it long enough for any to come find me, even if you could get help'

he was right

_'and once i step foot out of here, even if i could make it home, the blood will attack those monsters back, and I'll be a sitting duck for them..'_

he was also right on that. the blood of himself and his kill were targets for any of the monsters on the mountains, but the pack of Kargarocs would down him faster than anything I could do. they were the reason behind this now. the reason why you stood to lose your father.

the reason behind the fire that blazed around me as I figured my next course of action

 **'you will not die here, rito.'** with an authority hardly used, I met his gaze evenly **'your chick will need you to protect them, to nurture them. your purpose in this world is not yet fulfilled and you will NOT die here'**

 _'what would you suggest then, spirit..'_ his beak clacked at me in that way i have seen you do when you are impatient. the set of his eyes was hard, but not as empty as they had been. would he not accept death so easily then? would he fight, for the two that he loved above his own self?

 **'stay alive. eat, drink, cause yourself pain if you must. but stay alive. I will seek help, I will come back for you AND your game. You cannot die so long as this does not get to your chick and wife'** i gestured to the meat at his side, but my gaze never left his **'so eat it. Stay alive so that I may get you out of this mess. Promise me, rito.'**

there was silence in that cave, though the wind howled outside with the distant calls of wolves and monsters alike. the winds screamed with the threat of blizzard and ice coming upon the hills and taigas. should he be buried here, this cave would become his tomb, and with it any hope of you having met him

 _'.. I will try, spirit. I promise to try'_ was all i was given for hope. but i grasped onto it, made him grasp onto it as i took his hand. squeezing his feathery hand, i slipped away and flew from the mouth of the cave. I had only moments, and I knew this. I could waste not even one precious second if my plan were to work.

Devotion, an emotion strong enough to move mountains. to fell even the mightiest of foes. Devotions could sway hearts and build kingdoms. Devotion could bring the gods themselves to weep with the hymns of the faithful. Devotion was the embodiment of which I was. all that I was or ever would be. all that I had ever known or would.

like the arrows the ritos so often used, I shot up into the sky. the wind a blazing trail behind me as I searched for my prey. the Kargarocs were not far, their honking cries still annoyingly echoed through the windy peaks of the mountains, hunting the unfortunate deer and elk below. their blatant ignorance and callous disregard for how they had endangered your future drove me into a near blind frenzy as the arrow in my hand ignited with the memory of fire and heat. I remember the taste of it on my tongue as I sent all of my being into the form of the arrow, twisting my shape around it to make it stronger, harder, _hotter_. a blazing crest of purple and green flames, I shot with precision and hellish speed towards the flock.

one by one, i shot through them. over and over, I sought for their chests and wings. tearing them apart from the sky they had tainted with their cries, i sent them plummeting down into the icey depths of the caverns below, lost to the scavengers and darkness of their crevices'. a burning brillant and blazing star on the tip of a crumbling shaft, I am certain the sounds of screaming I heard echoing off the mountains were my own in a one sided bloody battle.

when I came to myself, there was only one left, as I needed. there was only one left as i plunged myself into it's chest and heart. there i stuck, and there i stayed as it's blood became my conduit.

I had the resource I needed. I had only so much time left.

powerful wings, undamaged as I had planned, beat heavily and fast as I swooped down to the cave. only minutes had passed, and he was still breathing. the meat from his game had been picked at, the fresh blood on his beak the evidence. though I feared for a brief moment that he thought his death had come for him as i landed with little grace on the edge

 **'Fear not Rito'** I called through a mouth that could hardly form the words. it was a gurgled sound that rose up it's throat and broke in strange places. a body I was unfamiliar with in general, but a monster was even more complicated to make work. **'come, I have your way home.'**

the shock on his face was enough to nearly shatter my focus. but the time for hesitation was not then. with a talon and the last of his strength, he dragged himself over to where I could encase him in the large talon of the beast. it's heart thudded around me, heavy with the force of my own life pushing and pulsing through it.

i carried him. speed and careful wing beats were not something I could do together, and so speed was what i opted for. clutching him tightly, protectively to the body I burned away from the inside out, a shining beacon of the arrow in it's chest, I soared through the skies and back towards the village. back to his wife. back to you.

he spoke a few times, enough to voice his discomfort and alert me to his still being alive. perhaps you got your stubbornness from him, with the way he continued to try and instruct me on how to fly better. perhaps, if I had the time, I could have learned something. but there was no more time, not with the way the heart faltered around me.

it was a shame, really... I had wanted to be there when you were born.

by the time i got in sight of the village, they were already aware of my arrival. the guards had their bows trained upon me, ready to let loose without hesitation should I attack. commendable, but in my way, I let out a screech I have yet to be able to replicate, nor no desire to do so. desperate, afraid, furious, I cried out with a sound that seemed to stun them.

just long enough.

Just long _enough_.

long enough that I could set him down on a platform. he and his game dropped unceremoniously on the built wooden way. his grunt was all i needed to know that he was safe, alive. all i needed to know that food woudl be provided, your mother would be strong. you would be safe.

you would be safe.

i relaxed, and that was when i felt what i had never felt before.

the last breath of life.

the body around me stilled and stuttered, it shook and spasmed as i fell with it upon the wooden way. large and shaking, i watched the flickering of my own life burning up within this creature. how much energy had i put out to kill the pack, to take control of this monster, to bring him back? all of the green that bound me to myself was slipping away, and with it soon would I be gone. 

_'spirit?'_ through dying eyes and ears, i saw him crawl over to me. the arrows of half a dozen rito were trained on me, but that worried me none. a large, purple hazed eye stared at the rito staring at me _'..you are dying'_

 **'it seemed one of us was going** **to'** i remember how calm i was, how tired i felt. the weight of this body felt as if it were dragging me under, deep into the earth so far below. i could hear the shimmering of voices calling to me...they truly had gone to rest beneath the crust, hadn't they?

 _'..you sacrificed yourself, for me...for my family'_ i remember the look in his eyes as he looked me over...no, perhaps not the body, but the flickering glow that was in it's chest. he knew what was truly me and what was not, a keen bird he was.

i could have laughed, if the breath in the lungs I had stolen could draw it

 **'when your child is born...make sure that they are fed well'** i instructed firmly, letting the large eyes of the body i was in close **'let them never know hunger, nor fear. let them be loved and protected. and in their darkest days, give them the strength....to fight onwards and upwards..'**

_'you have my word, spirit. I will devote my life to my chick. I am forever in your debt..'_

i managed then, i recall, to laugh

**'if only i could have met them..'**

and then it went black.

i remember the sensation of falling. the sounds melted into the darkness, and i lost myself.

down, deeper, faster, falling, floating, diving, i was dragged into the soil. the body long behind me, the memory of it's life mixing with the memory of my own. the feeling of feathers that touched on my arms, the feeling of a beak on my face. mixing like paint, I was lavender being swirled together with a deep, rich blue.

how long would it take me to find myself again? would i be myself once the last of me shredded itself into cleansing? what new devotion would come from what once had been?

and what of you, my star, my sun. oh, how i had wanted to be there when you met the world. How i wanted to see the look of your eyes and beak. however you had looked, I would have known you for the brilliance of your soul.

i fell for a very, very long time. time meant nothing, and yet nothing changed either. feathers had twisted from my arms and the back of my being. no longer the spirit I was, I was something else, and I was still _falling_.

my mind drifted back often to you. how long had I been here, in this limbo state? would you have grown feathers by now? or were you perhaps just being born? seconds could have passed from the death that dragged me down or years, and I would not have known any of the better or wiser. 

it was not until the green glow beneath me did something finally change. it was not until the green illumination of rocks around me did I realize that my time had come. the burning green glow rushed to meet me, and still i wondered how you would feel when the sun itself saw you for the first time. how i hoped those rays would warm your feathers and bring light to your eyes. how i hoped they would be steady and focused on all that you set your mind to.

how i hoped while i burned, as feathers and dust was burned away, cleansed by the green flames

until I was nothing but the stardust of stones that blew away into the winds.

with the single wish upon my mind

of the chance to meet you in another form, another way

another chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so ever since Tizi became a thing, i've had this monogle of their lives going in my head for days and decided to write them down and out because why not.


	2. The Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first one was new and abrupt  
> the second one was long but brief  
> the third one will be short and sad  
> the fourth one will be all I ever needed

When I saw you next, I shouldn't have. I was myself, but not. And you had already seen your first few seasons.

I was young now, but older in ways that did not make sense to my shape. tusks that were meant for gouging, hoofs that kept me steady, I learned the ways of the land quickly. Kill or be killed, hunt or be hunted. the litter of piglets I was born to were hunted swiftly, so few of us survived, even with the intervention of our mother.

Knowing no better, I lived as I did. Looking for berries and roots in the snow with a nose trained to find them. Seasons came and went, and I grew strong with the life I lived. 

a crest of fur on my back, long and wild. hair breath coming from my snout, I knew that what I was doing, some how, was not correct. impatience bore the fruit of hostility, and I quickly became a monstrous boar to be reckoned with. no predators dared to come within the land I roamed, no hunter survived an encounter with my tusks. arrows, swords, knives and weapons of all kinds littered my back. and yet I was not felled.

I heard few times compared to a Molduga, but I was unimpressed with this title. all that i accomplished meant little more than the faintest relief to an itch I could not scratch. a wound in my heart that I could feel pounding painfully for it's efforts. the foes didn't matter, be it monster, hylian or rito. they were all the same to me, faceless creatures in my path

obstacles that required moving.

it was on such a wintery night, the wind howling with the bite of frost that i was treading my way towards the edge of my territory. restlessness manifested in a need to push my land even further down the mountains. claimed by a path i would walk day in and day night, i had now deviated from it in search for whatever piece I had lost. the peace that escaped me in this life.

looking over the edge of this new land, i could vaguely see the outline a mountain... or perhaps it was a tower. it was tall, whatever it was, and stood fast, risen above all that was built around it. taller than the mountains I called my home, taller than anything I had seen.

I remember, faintly, the feeling of knowing that what I needed was there. like a memory left in the dirt and sun for too many moons, faded and worn around the edges. the urgency was there, but the knowledge to why was lost. a blank piece of paper was all I had. luckily for us both, it was all i needed.

trees were little more than branches in my tread as I came down the mountain side. horses and elk were scattered by my presence, moose sent bellowing and scaring away the rest as I pushed against the dense forest, forcing it to bend and break for my frame. the metal imbedded in me clattered and clinked with the force of my effort and monstrous groans and grunts escaped from a toothy maw. it felt like nothing in the world would ever stop me.

I suppose it is poetic that it was an arrow that did.

the first few took me by surprise, exploding on me and stunning me, I bellowed my fury and rage as I shook off the scorching fire that burned at my flesh. the sound of their flight in the air guided my snout upwards, staring at the ritos who flew above me. true to the nature of a beehive, they had come to protect their home from the threat at their door.

purple hazy eyes stared upwards at the rito in command. his green eyes bore down into my own, his arrows locked squarely onto my skull. on this field, we were enemies. I a threat to his home.

 _"Go back to the mountains, Suusnix!!"_ he had called in that commanding voice. the creaking sound of his wooden bow drawing taunt made me snort my response _"Should you come closer, we will fell you!"_

for a few heart beats, I felt an ache that made no sense to me. a longing, a betrayal, a pain deep in my bones so out of place it almost scared me. this was wrong, all wrong, but I could not ration why. lost in instincts primal and angry, I bellowed at the bird above me. voicing my outrage and challenge, my snout lowered to the ground as i pawed the snow and earth, making my intentions plain

_"So be it."_

I charged, he drew his arrows.

the battle was long, even with the aid of the others at his sides. I tore through the snow like a creature possessed, knocking boulders and trees up into the sky to fell the flying folk above. I downed few, I killed less, and I kept driving forward. forward, ever forward, towards that peak. towards that mountain that promised the end to this torment. the end of this feeling of incomplete shape. i screamed at the feeling of the firey arrows in my back, the explosions ringing in my ears and skull as i turned my head wildly. thrashing, taking down anything and everything in my path.

few times did he fly close enough for me to risk him. they were smart, and he was the smartest of them all. a careful, experienced hunter. he flew through the sky with a drive that rivaled my own. He had an intent that I could sense, he was the only thing keeping me from getting to the bridges that connected your village to the land. He knew this.

I knew this.

it had come down to him and me, I stood heavy upon the snowy earth before the bridge. the others had flown behind, to protect the village by means of destruction should He fail. he stood with confidence and a weary body. he was old, and I was not. hooves clawed the earth beneath me as i lowered my head down, tusks ready to gouge and main him

 _"Listen to me, Suusnix"_ he called, drawing his bow upwards as he aimed his arrows at me "This is the home of my wife and my son. I will not let you threaten it. This is your last chance to return to your wilds, or be felled here and your body be used to make us stronger!" i could hear the resolve in his voice, even as his wings trembled with the stress his body had gone through. age had eaten at his feathers, greying them in places here and there. the scars from that attack so many years ago had healed over, though many feathers had not regrown right, or grown without color.

but his eyes were the same. that beautiful green you inherited. he stared me down with not just the gaze of a warrior, but a rito with the full intention of doing anything and everything in his power to stop me.

I respected this, even if I did not head his words. I could not be stopped now. There was nothing for me in the mountains. a lonely, confused and angry life had lead me to this battle. if I could not get to what I sought, I would at least die trying.

the clouds of the hebra mountains passed, rolling away and allowing for a brief moment of warmth. the sun shone down brightly on us. the light was my signal, I charged.

his string drew taunt

I lifted my head, screaming my war cry at this soul rito

his arrows aimed to the sky, I heard them fly

confusion, I looked up

and felt the arrow piece under my jaw. it went through my mouth and up the top of my snout. his heavy breathing was in my ear, his feathers in my gaze as he held onto me

 _"Be Still now.."_ he whispered, and then the arrows fell.

one by one, down my spine, they pierced into me. some pushed weapons already in me deeper, others found their marks. all hit, and all served their purpose of paralyzing me.

a guttural and gurgled groan was all I could offer as my body fell limp beneath me. it was so heavy now, and some how... I remembered this feeling. the in between of life and death that clung like a fine thread widdling away. string by string, i was coming undone from this body.

and he was here, again. his green eyes met my hazy purple ones as i watched him loom above me. he removed the arrows, and some of the weapons. but other wise he watched me, too. there was some look in his gaze, something gentle that matched his feathers on my head

 _"be at peace"_ he murmured to me _"..and thank you for your sacrifice. my wife and son will eat well because of you... we all will"_

...something in that settled me. it drew my heavy panting to slow, my drooping eye lids to close. he was here, and he was well. I had done well by you once more, by doing well by him.

his downing me would surely earn him a title. this body would go towards their betterment, your survival. some how, I knew, I had done what I had wanted.

a few more breaths, and I managed a sound. a sound that seemed to take him off guard as he stared into my hazy purple eye.

a chuckle.

just like before.

_"wait, are you-!"_

and i was plunged back into the darkness. I could not even shut the eye that had been staring at him, simply drifting away from it as if it were a window. the form of boar was peeled away from me, and I could finally remember myself in truth. I remembered my shape, roughly. feathers were mixed in, as well as the fur now and tusks. 

here I was, again. in the inbetween of oblivion and rebirth, and I found myself confused. How could I still recall myself if I had been new? I had taken on a mortal body, so how was I like this now? how could I remember so clearly your light. the way your mother looked, be able to see how age had changed him from the memory of what had been.

confused, but tired, i drifted further down into the endlessness of the earth. the stones sang and illuminated the world around me, calling forth the green flame that had taken me once before. it churned and writhed, growing with it's glow as it raced to meet my falling form

had I gotten my wish, I wondered? to be able to see you again? had I wanted it so badly that I was able to take another form?

then let it be my final desire. let my own thoughts be what guides me into my new form, should that be the case. nothing to lose, but everything to gain

I wished for another chance.

to see you again.

This time, I would be something able to meet you

something that walked on two legs, hopefully..


	3. The Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Saddest

This time, I never got the chance to meet you.

I didn't recall before, like the last time. I didn't recall the form of tusks and hooves I had been, though found myself crawling on my four limbs for a time, too. my skin was the color of young fruit, barely kissed by the sun nor aged under the watchful gaze of the clouds and leaves. soft, weak, helpless, I was cared for by hands much rougher than mine.

hands that held me when I wailed, hands that carried me when I fell. they were scarred with proof of work, of lives that had been tough and built by them.

Her hands were softer, gently caressed in His worn and roughed hands. no matter how they were, they were tender with my own. unscarred, hardly calloused enough to protect them from the dangers of the world. the wooden floor of what I crawled on would be what toughened them up.

I scrapped knees on that floor. Got bloody noises, curled up around the fire, fought with my siblings, learned how to walk, how to run.

The house was constant, I never was allowed too far. I was so small, I could get lost, or taken by a monster. even if our village of Hateno was far enough away from most dangers or threats, it was good to be vigilant. 

I remember the way my hair hung around my shoulders, the dress I was made clung to me and kept me warm. every stitch was a labor of love, She had worked so hard on it.

I suppose I still regret that all that work amounted to little more than ash.

We could not prepare for the fire, no one really can. It had begun in the forest, and reached to our fields. Soon, half of the town was burning. People were running, screaming. I remember hearing that from inside.

It was hot, and I was scared. We were scared, my siblings. some of them had escaped, due to working with our parents outside. but the three of us were trapped there, hiding beneath the stair way.

I remember my older sister holding me

I remember my younger brother crying.

I was crying too.

It was hot.

and then it was dark.

I don't know what happened to them, but I was alone in the blackness again. 

Hardly had I lived this life, and so young to lose it. the impression of bipeadal form mixed with the fur of the boar, the wings of the kocorock. swirling forms that clung to a flickering flame of violet hue

the fire of the mortal realm gave way to the green singing of the rocks far below, and with weary eyes i watched the growing flames rising to meet me. I hadn't even a chance to meet you this time, how many years had gone by? where were you?? were you still living?? had you grown into a fine rito that shown with the sun itself??

if only I could be closer to you

if only i had the wings to follow after you

if I could choose this time...please

let me be _closer_.


End file.
